This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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