i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
