it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just had sex on a roof
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
