wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
