but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
