Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize