That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
