Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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