Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
