Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
