don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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