Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
