For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize