I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
