I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
