Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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