so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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