I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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