So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
