I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
