you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
