You're a womanizer and a bitch.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
smell my finger.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I forget how to act sober
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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