I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
