This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
