What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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