My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
