I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
