she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
