I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
