I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
