I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
