I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
