god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
