At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you traded sex for a burrito?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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