i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
