I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you didnt know i had herpes?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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