I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
