So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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