That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude i'm inner monologue high
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize