I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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