Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
