I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
