I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
