I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize