But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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