Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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