HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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