She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
