Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
