She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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