if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
