Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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