hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This baby is an asshole
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
