Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
