So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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