Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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