Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
