Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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