I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
