I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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