The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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