You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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